DISCUSSION ESSAY Some people think globalization benefits while some people believe harm local culture Disscuss both views and give your own opinion
In our modern world, some people believe globalization is more beneficial, and others think globalization has harmful issues for local culture, I personally believe that views are rational in their own ways, but I would agree with the latter group of people.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why globalization and globalization have many benefits. For example, your country may enter into agreement with other countries for various relations and food, clothes, transport, moder technology, and other things that will be cheaper if our country uses globalization. In other words, globalization is more efficient for businesses and all people. In fact, some modern countries prefer to use globalization because globalization gives them a lot of benefits, and through globalization, their income is increasing day by day. In addition, globalization can change local culture.
On the other hand, some people believe globalization has many issues from local culture. For example, globalization leads to new cultures from your country. If we start globalization, our lifestyle is dramatically modified, and we start to use foreign cultures. This is very terrible, and sometimes globalization leads to gay uniforms from our country. If we don’t use globalization, our lives become more useful. I might add that there are several detrimental impacts from our country people. For example, our culture may be obsolete. Nowadays, our country has started to use globalization, and many issues have been revealed. For example, our people start gay uniforms, and people are likening themselves to all kinds of animals. In addition, day by day, people with low consciousness are appearing.
In conclusion, I believe our country’s council stops globalization, however on the one hand, globalization has many benefits, but if we use globalization at the right time, it will be in accordance with the goal.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion. However, there are some issues with cohesion and coherence. The use of personal pronouns and possessive adjectives is confusing (your country vs. our country). The transition between the positive and negative aspects of globalization is abrupt and could be smoother. The conclusion restates the thesis but does not effectively summarize the main points or provide a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to use pronouns and possessive adjectives correctly to avoid confusion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of globalization and culture. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings (“gay uniforms” should be “cultural practices”). The use of personal pronouns and possessive adjectives is confusing and inconsistent (your country vs. our country). Overall, the lexical choice is appropriate, but the essay would benefit from a more varied and precise vocabulary.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that hinder clarity. These include issues with subject-verb agreement, the use of articles, and the misuse of possessive forms. The essay would benefit from a thorough review and correction of these errors. Overall, the grammatical range is sufficient, but accuracy needs to be improved.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on globalization and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the arguments are not fully developed, and the essay lacks specific examples to support the points made. The conclusion restates the thesis but does not effectively summarize the main points or provide a clear final thought. The essay would benefit from more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the implications of globalization on local culture. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points discussed.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Develop your arguments more fully to provide a more thorough discussion of the topic.