Donations given to five different types of charity by one company
The bar chart shows six varied charity given by single company in the span of 3 years(2012-2014).
Overall, donations for health increased step by step over the years. But for arts for initial two years amount of donations were stable and it grew in last year. Both education and environment charities decreased during 2013 but indeed both of them increased next year. The similar pattern can be seen in social wealfare as it increased after falling in 2013.
Money donated for health increased in all three years. As arts remained stable and seen increase in 2014. The same is true for social wealfare as it was dominant amount other options. Despite being dominant donations for social wealfare also have seen decrease in 2013.
Donations for education were same in 2012 and in 2014 but it also decreased in 2013. Environment for instance fallen in level of donations given as it declined in 2013 although in grown in 2014, but never reached as big donations as in 2012.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. However, there are some inconsistencies in the description of the data, which can lead to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, but there are some instances where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the data presented is consistent throughout the essay. For example, in one part of the essay, it is mentioned that donations for health increased every year, while in another part, it is mentioned that there was a decrease in 2013. This is contradictory and can lead to confusion. Try to use a more systematic approach in describing the data, such as discussing the trends year by year, rather than jumping around the data.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary to describe the trends in the data. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that could be improved. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the data more effectively.
The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally free from grammatical errors. However, there are some inaccuracies in the use of articles and prepositions that could be improved. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could help to convey the data more effectively.
The essay provides a detailed and accurate description of the data presented in the bar chart. The essay effectively highlights the key trends and makes relevant comparisons. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed analysis of the data and by making the introduction more concise and focused on the data presented in the chart.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed analysis of the data. For example, instead of simply stating that donations for health increased, you could provide more specific information about the rate of increase. This would help to make your analysis more detailed and informative.