Education for young people is important in many countries. However some people think that governments should spend more money on education in adult population who can't read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The question of whether the education of adults or children is important has been one of the most heated topics of 21st century. To be more specific, people share a perspective in which national authorities should invest more money for the education of adults who are unable to either read or write. Although I value elderly people to be educated these days, it is the importance of youth’s learning that official bodies should pay attention in some extent.
Notwithstanding, the education of adulthood can be demanding and too stressful since they do not seem to have basic abilities like writing or reading. Understandably, the process of teaching them how to read or encouraging to write would take more time because their brain capacity of normal adolescence could get older throughout the period of time. There is no point to studying for extracurricular activities that they have been learning in the past as long as they are mentally and physically inactive. The same was true in boxing match between Mike Tyson and Jake Paul which is the proper example of how age affects even high-experienced athletes no matter how much they train or to put more efforts. As a result, the man who is legend Iron Mike Tyson ended up the fight with a failure due to lung problems and heart attack.
In my opinion, governments, instead of preserving a better education system for older society, they need to provide all availability for the prosperous future of young adults. Fairly speaking, the schools and colleges are in need to be renovated in some economy less developed nations, teaching methods and some tools are outdated which have a major impact on the interests of young generation in technology advanced era. As if they make it happen, it would increase their general knowledge and awareness for such digital assets and making them on their own where one’s country can be benefited economically by the use of self-made robots. To clarify this notion, it might be visibly seen that offering more opportunities for youths is more likely to pay off with their contributions to the society as long as they ought to be surrounded by technology fields where they can globally learn about other recent developments made other countries which enlarges their worldview or to communicate and learn many important job skills from the most successful businesses employees worldwide that helps them set up their own company.
In summary, although the education adults or youths is controversial, I do assume that if governments are supposed to invest more financial goods on child’s educational patterns, it may be both economically and and socially beneficial for the prosperity of developing countries.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but the connection between some ideas and paragraphs could be enhanced. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the transition to the body paragraphs is somewhat abrupt. Clearer topic sentences and more explicit transitions would help guide the reader through the essay. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive, summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument and make the essay more engaging.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument and make the essay more engaging.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the importance of government investment in the education of adults who are unable to read or write. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by addressing potential counterarguments. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive, summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.