Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned.
It is true that extreme sports have become so popular in recent years. While I understand it has some risks, I completely disagree with idea of restricting to practice them.
In my opinion extreme sports are not that dangerous as people think; it is okay having some risks since in any kind of sports, like ranging our daily activity cycling to football have. Additionally, there are always clear regulations and procedures in all sports and beginners have not permission to start activities without participating in special trials and learning safety polices. For example, new skydivers are not allowed to dive solo before experiencing this process with highly-trained professionals. It is also clear that several special equipments are used which reduce the level of danger and avoid possible injuries.
Although I agree with reaching regulations and safety measures beforehand, there are several reasons why I believe that these sports should not be banned. Firstly, I argue that government has no right to ban how people spend their leisure time. Secondly, extreme sports are main fear of most people and facing with those enable them to beat their fears and gives adrenaline. As a result, this improves their confidence and build self-satisfaction. Finally, this in turn, not only helps to enjoying their life by adding some colors, but also enhance overall body strength and stamina as it requires significant physical effort.
In conclusion, individuals should be free to choose whether doing extreme sport after being aware of full conception of its possible dangers and risks.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument less clear. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed and the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Ensure that your argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Make your conclusion more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating your stance.