Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, so-called extreme sports are becoming more popular, although some argue that these types of sports should be banned due to their dangers. I fully disagree with this opinion because every sport involves some level of risk, and people enjoy their time in various ways, even though there may be negative effects.
To begin with, extreme sports are not as dangerous as people think. In all sports, injuries can occur, even in chess. However, these types of sports emphasize safety rules. In most situations, they are not played in restricted areas, but are influenced by physical forces like wind flow or atmospheric pressure. As a result, people must attend training before starting extreme sports. Moreover, in sports like skydiving, beginners are not permitted to go solo until they reach a certain level. In addition, sports costumes are not only designed to keep the body warm, but also to reduce the risk of quick and painful injuries. Special costumes are designed with light-colored lines, making it easier to locate individuals in circumstances like avalanches. Due to such safety measures, there is no need for a ban.
Another reason I disagree with this opinion is that it is unfair to interfere with people’s enjoyment. It is their choice and their lives, so why should others make decisions for them? They may experience an adrenaline rush and become more passionate about their lives through training in these sports. Furthermore, before beginning a sport, individuals are warned about the risks and are required to sign a waiver acknowledging both the positive and negative consequences. When a person takes responsibility for their own actions, it is not always right for others to interfere.
To conclude, I completely agree with the idea that everyone should be responsible for their own involvement in sports, and I believe that government intervention is unnecessary to ban these activities due to their negative outcomes.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly identifiable. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A variety of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions are used effectively. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The majority of sentences are error-free. However, there are a few minor errors that could be addressed.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging and the conclusion could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to make it more engaging and to provide a clearer thesis statement. Consider revising the conclusion to make it more comprehensive and to provide a stronger summary of the main points.