Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, so-called extreme sports are becoming popular, although some argue that these types of sports should be banned due to the danger.I fully disagree with this opinion, because every sport involves some level risk and people enjoy their time in various ways even though it has negative effects.
To begin with, extreme sports are not as dangerous as people think. In all sports, injury can occur,even in chess , however,these types of sports focus more on safety rules.Because in most situations, it is not played in restricted areas, because of physical forces like a wind flow or atmosphere pressure.That’s result, people must attend to training before starting extreme sports. Moreover, in sports like sky-diving, beginner solo is not permitted to do this until reaching a certain level.In addition,sport costumes are not only responsible to keep heat ,also provide not to be injured quick and painful injuries.Their special costumes are also designed with special light colored lines, making it easier to found in circumstances like avalanches. Due to such safety measures ,there is no need to ban.
Another reason why I disagree with this opinion is that it is not fair to involve their enjoyment. It is their choice, their lives,why others make a decision instead of them.They might get adrenaline, becoming more interested in their life in training these sports.Furthermore ,before the beginning of a sport,they be warned about it and sign a certain paper which they are aware of its both good and bad consequences. When a person takes responsibility for their own actions, it is not always right for others to interfere.
To conclude, I completely agree with the idea that everyone should be responsible for their own involvement in sports, and I believe that government intervention is not necessary to ban become of their negative outcomes.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a standard structure, but the use of linking words and cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the key points and reiterate your stance.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that could be improved. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice, which could be refined for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more formal language throughout the essay would help to strengthen the overall lexical resource.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause some difficulty for the reader. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which helps to demonstrate a good command of grammar. However, there are some errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction that can cause some difficulty for the reader. Proofreading for these errors and focusing on accuracy in grammar and punctuation would help to improve the overall grammatical range and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay clearly addresses the prompt, providing a position and supporting it with relevant examples. The writer’s opinion is clear throughout the essay, and the argument is well-structured, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the topic. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.