Extreme sports such scuba diving and skydiving are very dangerous and it should be banned.
There is a view that extreme sports, such as skydiving or windsurfing, can be really risky for people, that is why it should be prohibited. Although limiting those sport activities can be effective way to reduce the number of damages or accidents in people, i strongly disagree with this statement for some outlined reasons in below.
On the other hand, extreme sports,for instance skydiving, may lead to some serious injuries. Most of people who engage with those sport activities end up their actions with fatals and accidents. As result of this, it is reasonable to ban those sports and people should stay away from it.
Nevertheless, setting up restrictions to these sports might not be fair for everyone. That is to say, there are users of hazardous sports, who usually feel a sense of enjoyment or the thrill of adrenaline rush by participating those sport activities. For example, there will be nothing else from the life for some people, if their favourite activities are banned. More importantly, there are places where extreme sport attractions take place and people run them. In other words, owners of those attractions earn money through it and also provide people with occupation. Even if there is a restriction towards extreme sports, this will cause to crises and a huge unemployment. Therefore, it is much more effective to put some limit rather than banning it fully.
In conclusion, i do agree extreme sports are life-threatening and worth to set ban, but those sports can give to people a sense of fulfilling from the life and even provide people with income.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument less clear. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage, as well as some issues with verb tense consistency. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb tense usage and some awkward phrasing that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with more specific examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Make sure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the stance.