Extreme sports such skydiving and skiing are dangerous and should be banned.to what extend do you agree and disagree with this view.
In recent years extreme sports have become increasingly more popular.and some people argue that goverment should prohobit them.l completely disagree with the idea so that these sports may to dengerous and l therefore that goverment should not banned.
lm my opinion,extreme splrts as not dengerous as many people think.All the sports envolving some element of risk amd they should be a clear regulations and safety procedures for reducing in overall possibility of accidents.People who take part in sports will be sign for skydiving.This is because provide with safety resourses.As well as some beginers don’t allowed for skydiving.Someone who atteding in sports are required undergo of approprite training are minimize for safety.l think many challenges are exprienced by people.For example extreme sports can be effectively for lifestyle.allowing improved mental well-being.if many people have diseases thay should take part in popular sports.This can lack of diseases and impact of general polulace.Scholars amd policymakers claim that the goverment should supported all the sports.Extreme sports will be undoubtly have consequances for provide amenties.Environmental studies recommend the society should not be banned them.
While l supported all regulations and safety measures.l believe that it would be wrong and clear impossible banned extreme sports.In first place we should all be free decided how we spend our leisurw time.In these times we spend our time for other kindy of sports,as not limited our day,as long as understand some risks.l don’t believe taht the policymakers should stop us for enjoying ourselves.However an even stronger argument cannot stop us such as ban can be difficulty and many people never enjoying their leisure time.
In conclusion,l argue that people should be free to enjoy extreme sports.Allow enjoy their leisure time as long as they understand some risks and try ro avoid these problems.
The essay is somewhat organized and has a clear progression of ideas, but there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is some evidence of a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and some sentences are difficult to understand.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.