Fewer young people play sports and exercise these days. Why is this? What are the effects of this?
Nowadays fewer teenagers are involved in sports and physical activities. This trend can be attributed to several factors and I think it has mainly negative effects.
One of the primary causes of this problem is addicting to modern technological gadgets. Young people’s are the same. They are spend it to play computer games or watching short videos, which give instant gratification. As a result losing sensitivity to dopamine, the hormone of pleasure. Next time, they need to play or watch more to replenish the resource of dopamine. The other cause can be having no time. In each family, parents hope for high academic results. Children, to meet expectations, have to do different activities, like studying a lot, reading books, attending special courses, and leave little time to do homework or exercises. All of this is exhausting mentally, with no energy left at the end of the day.
The decline in youth sport participation has negative effects on the organism. Notably, health problems such as a sedentary lifestyle and device addiction bring problems like gaining weight. An inactive lifestyle leads to cardiovascular diseases, and the risk is increasing. Furthermore, losing the opportunity to learn necessary skills. Team sports teach things like working together and communicating effectively. Less disciplined and lazy people fail with their management incorporate with productivity in future.
To conclude, obsessing to modern technology and can’t leaving time for sports only causing negative effects with health
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the author’s stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more formal language throughout the essay would help to strengthen the overall tone.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in the use of articles and prepositions. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structure, with a variety of sentence types used effectively. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more formal language and proper punctuation would help to improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the decrease in youth sports participation and the effects of this trend. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this issue and the resulting consequences. However, the argument could be further developed with more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the effects of this trend on young people’s health and well-being. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reinforcing the writer’s stance.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Provide a deeper analysis of the effects of the decrease in youth sports participation on young people’s health and well-being.