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Fewer young people play sports and exercise these days. Why is this? What are the effects of this?

Nowadays, the number of young people engaging in sports and regular exercise has declined significantly. This phenomenon can be attributed to several causes, and its consequences are both concerning and far-reaching.
One major cause is the increasing addiction to modern technological gadgets. A large percentage of young people no longer play sports, as they spend their time playing computer games or watching short videos. These activities offer instant gratification, which leads to reduced sensitivity to dopamine – the hormone responsible for pleasure. As a result, the brain becomes accustomed to passive forms of entertainment, making physical activities like sports and exercise seem less appealing due to their demanding nature.
Another reason is the growing academic pressure from parents. Many parents want their children to excel academically, so they encourage them to focus on studies, attend special courses, and read extensively. This leaves little to no time for outdoor activities or exercise. Even when young people find some free time, they often feel mentally exhausted.

7.5

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly presented. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for better clarity.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Include specific examples to support your arguments. This will help to provide a more detailed and convincing explanation of the phenomena.