Fewer young people play sports and exercise these days. Why is this? What are the effects of this?
Sport activities are the most important things to people’s health. Fewer young people don’t exercise sport activities and outdoor plays. This problem, which can be attributed, has mainly negative effects.
There are several factors why children don’t play outdoor games and sport. First of all, children haven’t no a lot of time to do sport activities. Because of this, their parents want them to academically successful and so children have to study a lot, read books always and attend special courses. After this activities, children want to rest not a playing games and sport activities. Furthermore, nowadays they addicted to modern technological gadgets. They use play computer games, watch short videos and other using smartphones whole day. This gadgets give instant gratification less sensitive to dopamine which was the hormone of pleasure.
This causes lead to some of negative effects. One of them is health problems. Children addict sedentary lifestyle and devices and this become obesity and other health issues.Inactive lifestyle need to pass cardiovascular diseases which was harmful to people life.Another effect is losing opportunity to learn necessary skills, such as, communication and teamwork collaboration skills. Even more it becomes less disciplined and to be lazy. As a result children don’t organize time and productivity.
To conclude, less sport activities and outdoor games children addict modern technological gadgets and they don’t have time to sport and games with other children, cause less disciplined and lazy in teamwork and communication, add problems with their health also.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas can be unclear. More effective use of cohesive devices and a clearer connection between ideas would enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure that the use of cohesive devices is accurate and appropriate.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. More accurate and varied word choices would enhance the lexical resource of the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds some variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in punctuation and spelling, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. More attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling would improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the decrease in the number of young people participating in sports and outdoor games and the effects of this trend. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this issue and the resulting negative effects. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the points made. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your points.