Fewer young people read books nowadays. What are the causes of this? What are the effects?

Today, there is a lack of teenagers interest in reading books. In my opinion, phones and social media can be the main reason for this problem, so this leads to some consequences that will be discussed.
Historically, books and journals were the main source of information before the invention of the TV, and later, the internet in the second half of the 20th century. But after, many things have changed, and the unlimited access to data from all over the world have been opened. As a result, internet has developed extremely fast and became easier for usage for nowadays teenagers, so the YouTube, Tik Tok, Instagram and other social media platforms became a better option to spend their time on rather than a book.
However, this type of routine, when pupil use the phone for 6 hours and more, can affect on mental health. Especially, young people stay less focused on different chores and studies, feel more stressful and loose their time, because the fast-food content makes them to watch more and more “Reels”, for example, reducing time that individual could use to read or study. These social media apps have a complex algorithm, which actually works on a long term usage, recommending you the videos based on watched previous ones. So the fact is that teenager in the period when cognitive skills must be developed consume too much information, as a result, reading 200 pages of text can be considered as a boring activity.
To conclude, controlling the usage of social media is vital for teenagers to make sure that they do not spend too much on it, so they do not loose their ability to read and focus.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the connection between some ideas and paragraphs could be improved. The introduction sets up the main points well, but the transition to the body paragraphs is a bit abrupt. Using more linking words and phrases would help to smooth out these transitions. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points discussed.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which helps to maintain reader interest. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the decreasing interest of teenagers in reading books and the consequences of this trend. The writer presents a clear explanation of how the rise of the internet and social media has contributed to this problem and how it has affected teenagers’ mental health and academic focus. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the consequences of this trend on a wider scale, such as social interaction and communication skills.