Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With shifts in social norms and advances in communicating technologies, people are keeping in touch with their friends online. However, there is a view that such relationships are less meaningful compared to those in which people interact face-to-face. I staunchly support the viewpoint that face-to-face communications are superior to online ones, as it may prevent superficial bonds and be unaware of their friends’ conditions.
In our fast-paced world, many people use social media and make friends online, which, in turn, leads to shallow relationships. It can be too difficult to be friends with someone who you rarely meet and be aware of their feelings and life, and then they just start to behave superficially. In other words, they may undergo several challenges in their life, but they conceal their true feelings and behave like a happy person when they communicate with their friends through social media, for example, indicating that these relationships are valueless.
Nevertheless, people who meet with their friends on a regular basis can enjoy better bonds. Once they meet, it is inevitable to inform their friends of their current situation. Thus, they care about each other, help to overcome any challenges they face, and provide assets when they lack them, such as food production, money, and others. For example, if a person fell into huge debt and if they have a friend to rely on, they can ask for help and surpass those difficulties, which means staying in touch with friends by interacting in person can lead to creating a significant bond. In conclusion, if everyone is unaware of their friends’ conditions and feelings, their relationships might be worthless. However, regular face-to-face communications may facilitate people to create a meaningful bond since they are constantly informed about each other’s lives and help one another.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could enhance the argument.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could enhance the argument.
The essay addresses the task effectively and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the significance of face-to-face interactions in forming meaningful friendships. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.