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Give me writing task 1 score

The bar chart compares the percentages of participation in various sports in New Zealand.
Overall, it is clear that boys showed complete dominance in six out of nine types of sport, while girls were less active than their male counterparts in most categories. It is also notable that netball was highly favored among women, whereas in cricket, it is evident that men showed overwhelming participation
Turning to the details, only 1 % of women chose to play Cricket, while men’s participation proportion was ten times higher than that of women. A similar trend is apparent in martial arts where around 9 % of boys engaged in this pursuit, compared to a mere 3 % of girls. Additionally, the participation percentages in basketball and tennis were almost indistinguishable between genders. Soccer was the most preferred sport category for men, showing an impressive 25 % of them taking part.
With regards to female dominance, in 2002, netball was the standout choice for women with approximately 27 % of them opting for netball, making it the most prominent sport among females. Moreover, women’s participation in swimming was also a distinct pattern compared to men’s, with respective figures of 23% women to 13 % men. In athletics, women also showed more interest than men, however, the percentages were lower than 5 %.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The writer uses cohesive devices effectively, and the progression of ideas is well-managed.

Suggestions
  • Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to avoid repetition and to further demonstrate your language skills.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic usage. The writer demonstrates a good control of a variety of sentence structures.

The essay uses a wide range of grammatical structures and there are few grammatical errors. The errors that do exist do not impede communication.

The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The information is accurately and appropriately selected and effectively compares and contrasts the data.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that you accurately report the data and avoid making any assumptions or including any irrelevant information.