Hadija JIS
Some people believe that all university students should have a chance to study the subjects that they are interested in. In my opinion this statement is completely positive due to some reasons which will be discussed below.
I think that in every individual in the world have their own preferences and dreams. Whether they are rich, poor, black, white, everyone has purpose in life. What if young person is dreaming to be doctor but in the university student is forced to study art. It is okay if student is not against but what if he is not into it. The student will loose money and most crucial thing in his life – time. In every lesson he will be disappointed because he could not spend time for something more important. Because of unnecessary programs in universities maybe the talent is dying while we are discussing this topic. Surely there will be people that will say ,”It will be good for him/her to learn other things beside inquired subjects that are needed to his/her dream job”. Yes it is good for student but if everyone says that, who will think about students preferences and thoughts? For the sake of not loosing genius, universities should support students and give them choice to choose subjects.
If we sum up our discussion, we decided to make universities give chance for students to study subjects that they want, to hold development of our beautiful world. With this decision we will not be obstacle in the way of youth and give good opportunity for rising talents.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the thesis.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate the thesis.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can hinder the reader’s understanding. These errors need to be addressed to improve the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the thesis.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Consider strengthening your conclusion by summarizing the main points and reiterating your thesis.