IELTS task 1 ESSAY
So, we can see on the graph the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. The graph shows that visitors wo went for business first started decreasing from five million to four between 1989 and 1994.
So, after some time it started increasing up to eight million, it was between 2004 and 2009. In 2009 fall to seven million. The next is people who went for meeting Friends and relatives. It increased from 3,5 million to 7 between 1989 and 2009. It never fell until 2009, but coming to 2009 it decreased to 6 million. And the last one, visitors who went for holidays. First it was 6.5 million between 1989 and 1994, later it increased very fast to 9 million visitors by 1994. And it decreased dramatically to his firs place by 2004. And it also increased to 9 million by 2009.
The essay attempts to describe the trends shown in the graph, but the organization is somewhat unclear. There is an overuse of ‘so’ and a lack of clear paragraphing.
Suggestions
- Use clear paragraphing to separate different points.
- Avoid starting multiple sentences with ‘so’.
- Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is a lack of variety in expression.
There are several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and sentence structures.
The response addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and accurate data representation.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific data points.
- Include a summary of overall trends.
- Ensure accurate representation of the graph’s data.