Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?
Due to advancements in technology, the world has become a small village;that being so,it is common for people to move from one country to another.This essay will discuss some of the main reasons and the results of immigration in upcoming paragraphs.
To start with the reasons,first and foremost is the option to get a better lifestyle.People from poor countries move to rich nations in order to get a high-standard lifestyle.Having a better education system,medical facility and more safety in a developed nation motivate the individual to move from an underdeveloped country.Secondly, a good habitat supports this trend.As governments in developed countries invest a big chunk of their money in the surroundings;therefore,usually their climate is pollution free.As a result, pollution-free surrounding is directly correlated to big lifespan.
As far as consequences are concerned,the main drawback is the shortage of jobs.Society members have to compete in order to get a specific job therefore many native uneducated folks remain unemployed;thus,they get involved in criminal activities which boosts the crime rate of a city.For example,Canada is witnessing a crime rate of racism at workplaces because natives exploit their rights and taunt them by saying go back to your home countries.Weak bonds in families are the result of migration.Since differences in time zones and situations faced by immigrants,it gets extremely hard for them to manage the proper time they can invest in the family via audio calls;hence,lack of time creates a gap between family members.
To sum up, a better lifestyle and a good environment are some of the causes to support migration but it leads to various problems such as a shortage of jobs for natives and weak bonds of family members.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to provide a comprehensive summary of the points discussed.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic of immigration. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some inaccuracies in sentence construction and word forms. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are some minor errors in sentence construction and word form that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the main reasons for immigration and the consequences it can have on society. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors that motivate people to migrate, such as the desire for a better lifestyle and a more favorable living environment. The consequences, such as a shortage of jobs and strained family ties, are also discussed in a clear and relevant manner. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the points made.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your points.