In many cities problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
It is becoming common for cities to face the issues stem from overpopulation. Some states are supporting businesses as well as individual people to move to the countryside.
Although this trend has some downsides including reduced job places in cities, I personally, believe this modification will bring more benefits not only to the rural areas but also the businesses.
Relocating business industries in rural areas brings in some problems. Firstly, if producers leave city centers the people employed in those companies will be left jobless. Additionally, the number of choice consumers have will be reduced. Consequently, the economy of the city will suffer a lot. For example, the car manufacturing factory, GM, which was located in Andijan city, has recently been moved to a neighboring village, ever since the economy growth of Andijan has been declining significantly.
Another concern associated with this trend is related to the nature. To be precise, when setting in a new place, businesses need a lot of space for construction works, including to build roads, plants and living apartments for their workers. As a result, they destroy the green space in the countryside by cutting trees, polluting air and water. I can show my hometown as an example, before a factory producing fertilizers was opened ten years ago, the environment had been intact and clean, since then, the ecologic condition in my town has been worsening year by year.
Despite those drawbacks, this action has some positives for both cities and rural areas. To kick off, the first advantage of this trend to cities is reduced levels of pollution and congestion. In detail, now people travel to the countryside in search of services and products, not to the city centers as it was before. Subsequently, this will decrease the number of both vehicles and people in the heart of cities. This means that less transport and people cause less pollution.
Bringing businesses to rural areas improves the life quality there. First of all, the more industries come to the countryside, the more job opportunities will be available. This directly supports the local economy of those areas. An example can be seen in a campaign of Nike company, in which, the company opened several plants in African states, resulting in betterment of life quality of the people employed.
In conclusion, while encouraging producers to move out of cities to rural places comes with some disadvantages, the upsides of it, consisting economic growth of the rural regions, will outweigh those downsides.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
- Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could enhance the discussion.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and complex sentence structures could enhance the discussion.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of businesses and individuals moving to rural areas. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the discussion could be more fully developed, and the conclusion could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Develop your arguments more fully to provide a more thorough discussion of the topic.