In many cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Over the last few years, the percentage of population rose drastically in the urban areas, therefore, some organisations require the movement of the businesses from the towns to the countryside. In this essay, I will explore its positive and negative influences.
On the one hand, the overpopulation can cause the improvement of facilities and accommodations, because of the increasing population year by year, governments tried to extend the accommodations. It means that this change may affect the improvement of the undeveloped areas. Moreover, the overpopulation can be beneficial for the increase of the rate among other nations. Because if a nation has more people and all of them have the ability in some activities like sport and education, it can influence their rate for the growth.
On the other hand, it may be cause for the difficulties. For example, with many people, the roads can face the crowdedness and traffic jams. Therefore, it may create challenges to live the city. Furthermore, the rise of people in the urban areas can cause the pollution of the city and consumerism. For instance, in China the percentage of the population is really high compared to other nations. Thus, the rate of consumerism and pollution has drastically risen year by year.
To sum up , in recent years, issues regarding the increase of people in many cities have become more common and it causes lots of negative and positive effects.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few errors that could be corrected for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of overpopulation in cities and the potential benefits of encouraging businesses to move to rural areas. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with relevant examples.