in many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your opinion.
It is true that the elderly are living longer than in the past, contributing to the overall well-being of families. Although, the rise of life expectancy has its disadvantages, such as recourse depletion and negative economic impact, I firmly believe living longer is more beneficial.
It is undeniable that the youth who grew up with their grandparents are more culturally aware, amicable and mentally resilient. For instance, the nurture of grandchildren can additionally be done by the elderly, teaching local traditions and customs that shapes the right cultural identity of the young. Another good example would be older people teaching their grandkids serious life lessons and advising how to behave in particular situations. These circumstances lead to the igniting passion of kids towards their grandparents, and even feeling more comfortable and loved around them. In other words, sticking to the elderly from the younger age and being showed passion by them not only makes youngsters cultural, but also mentally strong, given that they were nurtured about life pieces of advice from the youth.
If to turn to its negative sides, older adults put strain on public healthcare and pension systems. As human beings get older, they require more and more medical attention, leading to higher healthcare expenditures. Stereotypically, it might seem as an advantage since the long life is attributed to the enhancement of medical services. However, the cost of living longer continuously puts a severe pressure on healthcare resources, and even might take away the turns of youngsters. Another drawback of living longer is the burden on state’s budget because the old generation monthly receives a pension. As long as the number of pensioners keep increasing, putting a pressure on pension funds and medical systems simultaneously, the particular state is likely to recess economically.
From my perspective, the presence of the elderly is much more advantageous due to the happiness of their relatives and positive economic impacts. The presence of the elderly is likely to gather huge number of family members together, despite their hectic lifestyles. These sort of family events assists in strengthening family bonds. The other factor is the economic contribution. In spite of that the life prolongation puts a high pressure on state’s budget and services; the presence of a remarkable work experience in older people has an impact on a success of a certain company.
In summary, I agree that the increase of life expectancy has negative impacts, such as economic recession and strain on public services. Nevertheless, I insist that living a long life is way more beneficial, due to the influence on strengthening family solidarity and experience they own that aids companies in keeping their reputation in a more trusting way.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
- Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “residence depletion” should be “resource depletion,” and “recess economically” should be “recession economically.” Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with subject-verb agreement, preposition use, and article use. For example, “residence depletion” should be “resource depletion,” and “recess economically” should be “economic recession.” Proofreading for these errors and focusing on using grammar accurately will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy and providing a clear personal opinion. The writer presents relevant examples to support their points, such as the cultural awareness and resilience of young people who grow up with their grandparents. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by ensuring that each point is fully developed before moving on to the next.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each point is fully developed and supported with relevant examples.