In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is a growing trend, which populations are migrating from the countryside to the cities, which I believe is a very negative thing because it will lead to several problems regarding food shortages, environmental problems, and economical problems.
If people move from rural areas to urban areas, who will provide our food? Most of our food products, such as meat, fruits, vegetables, and wheat are produced in the farms, which are outside the city because in the rural areas, weather conditions are better, which is an important factor for growing agricultural products. Addition to this, the price of acres are much cheaper compared to the city prices. For example, with the price of an average house in the city, you could buy a big farm in the rural area. Therefore, it is cost-beneficial for farmers to grow their products in the countryside. As a result, when population, including farmers, migrate to the cities, there will be no one in the farms to provide our food. This will lead to shortage of foods, which will raise the prices. Due to this, there will be a monopoly of agricultural products in the city, and many people will suffer or die from famine just because they cannot afford the higher prices.
Furthermore, this migration will increase the pollution in the cities. increasing population in the city means that there will be more cars on the roads. Moreover, these people will accommodate in various houses, which means that there will be more electricity and gas consumption. All of these are triggering an increase in the pollution. In addition to this, these excessive number of people need jobs, so there will be employment issues too because after the migration, there will be more people who will compete with each others for applying jobs.
To sum up, I assert that the migration of countryside people to cities could break the system. Because, while there will be an excessive number of people in the city, which will result in significant problems, such as unemployment and pollution , also there will be no one in the farms to produce our food that will result in hunger and death.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the position, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “migration,” “food shortages,” “pollution,” and “economical problems.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the arguments.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which helps to maintain the reader’s interest. However, there are some grammatical errors that need to be addressed, such as issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. Proofreading the essay to correct these errors is recommended. Additionally, the use of more varied and complex sentence structures could help to strengthen the arguments and make the writing more engaging.
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the implications of the migration of rural populations to cities and the potential consequences for food production, the environment, and the economy. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples and explanations. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by offering a more balanced discussion of the potential benefits and drawbacks of this trend.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.