In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Our world is advancing in many ways. These advancements have brought so many new opportunities with them. For example, Nowadays, we have access to a wide range of food across the globe, which I believe is verry beneficial if it is done in the right way.
Having a different selection of foods is beneficial for our overall health because it provides our diet with more nutritional foods. Nutrients are an important contributor to our health because they contain different minerals and vitamins, which are essential for our body, so when we have access to different foods, we can have a better diet. For instance, avocados are one of the most nutrient fruits in the world containing significant amount of vitamins and healthy fats. However, they are only grow in limited parts of the world, where have humid and warm weather. Therefore, in the past, majority of the humans had not the chance to eat this fruit, but with the advancements in the last decades, people have this chance to eat this nutrient fruit. Furthermore, we can taste different foods, which is a valuable gift because I believe that it is a great opportunity that we can eat foods from all over the world.
Although, having wide range of options in foods have several benefits, the process should be implemented right in order for our health stability. Additionally, because these foods are transported from abroad, they may have some health issues, such as containing virus or bacteria. Thus, we should be very cautious and do our conservation before consuming them. For instance, last year, a deadly illness spread in our country, which was due to imported meat from Brazil, so we should be cautious about these imported foods before eating them
To sum up, if we take our conservative measures, we could enjoy the beneficial aspects of these foods, and also enjoy the variety of tasty fruits, vegetables and meats.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “verry beneficial” should be “very beneficial,” and “do our conservation before consuming them” should be “exercise caution before consuming them.” Refining word choice and ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, using a wider variety of expressions and idioms will make the essay more engaging to read.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “Although, having wide range of options in foods have several benefits” should be “Although having a wide range of options in foods has several benefits,” and “we should be very cautious and do our conservation before consuming them” should be “we should be very cautious and do our conservation before consuming them.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the benefits of having a wide range of food options from across the globe. The writer presents a clear thesis in favor of this diversity, stating that it is beneficial for our overall health as it provides a more nutritional diet. The essay also acknowledges the potential drawbacks, such as the risk of imported foods carrying viruses or bacteria, and emphasizes the importance of taking precautions. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer’s stance.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your arguments and support them with relevant examples and evidence.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.