In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?
In many countries, people increasingly talk about topics related to money – such as the quality of their wages and the payments for particular items – in everyday conversations. This is because of the need for money to make different transactions and the scarce of topics to talk with. In my perception, talking about money is normal, but this topic should not be the most popular one among other, more engaging ones; thus, I believe it is mostly detrimental to social lives of people.
The main reason for money subjects people talk about is the need for money. Since the introduction of a new type of payment what we call ‘money’, people started making different transactions in a more fair way as the money evaluates any item showing the perfect possible exchange. For example, everyone on Earth has right to buy products in supermarkets, and the value of a product in one shop is not different from one in other shop, which emphasizes the power of money. If we did not have money, we would start exchanging items with each other, but this could lead to dissatisfaction of people due to the unprofitable and disbalanced exchange of one side. Therefore, the majority of people just appreciate the importance of money and talk about it with others on a regular basis.
Another less obvious reason for the activity of that topic is scarce of other topics. People sometimes just suffer from the insufficient number of interesting topics to talk with close ones. In other words, they have already discussed the most incentive topics on Earth, and the alternative option for them is to talk about money. However, in my opinion, there should be the end of this topic because it is too boring to talk only about money while the modern world offers unlimited number of topics.
I believe that the money is just useful resource to exchange fairly. Therefore, people do not have to talk about them all the time. Instead, there are plenty of other engaging subjects and spheres, which are great candidates for being one of the topics we discuss every day. For instance, a teenager, who is interested in mobile games, can talk about games with other similar gamer who is also a teenager; it all depends on individuals’ interests. If money is the most common topic among indiciduals, it is difinitely detrimental to their social lives as it is not the best topic for communication, as I mentioned before.
In summary, people do not stop talking about money because they know the essence of it in the modern world we now live in, but they might also talk about it as an alternative choice. Despite this, I think it is negative statement as people could talk about more interesting topic.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “the activity of that topic is scarce of other topics” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity. Improving the precision and appropriateness of vocabulary will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.
The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be improved. For example, “the scarce of topics to talk with” should be “the scarcity of topics to talk about”. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the increasing focus on money in conversations and the potential negative impact of this trend on people’s social lives. The writer presents a clear explanation of why people talk about money, emphasizing its role in transactions and the lack of other topics, and argues that this focus is detrimental to social lives. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant points. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the points more effectively.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.