In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?
In modern society , people often talk about their annual earn money or paying needs their daily conversation .
I think , in modern live these eventes normally because of such developed countries make competition with people , like each other . That is why , people who is become famous or wealthy shows that their positive life on social sides . These acts makes people earn much more money such as reach people . Sometime these happens will be popular , in that way , people who has internet want to say about financial power and try to buy expensive thing and spend more .
Sometimes these conversations due to same positive aspects such people do , and want extra money queckly . As a resul that people take part in race that they do not now and chasing easily live . This point makes people motive and physical movements . On the other hand , some negative points are appeared in some desperative society that some crimes happens for financial eissues .
In conclusion , these talks ralated to money and extra needs is naturally . Globalization is carry on and thse problems and negative developments is not disappeared .
The essay is difficult to follow due to a lack of clear organization and coherence. Ideas are not well-connected, and the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate. The essay is somewhat difficult to follow due to a lack of clear organization and coherence. Ideas are not well-connected, and the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate. The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences and logical progression of ideas.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support that idea.
The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, but there are several instances of awkward or incorrect word choices. Some phrases are overly complex or unclear, and there are errors in word formation and spelling. Simplifying the language and focusing on accurate word usage would improve clarity and readability.
The essay uses a limited range of grammatical structures and there are several grammatical errors. Punctuation and sentence structure could be improved for better clarity and coherence.
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind people talking about money and the implications of this trend. However, the ideas are not fully developed, and the essay lacks a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The argument is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth, while the conclusion is weak and does not effectively summarize the main points.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your ideas and provide relevant examples to support your arguments.