In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
In numerous nations, educational institutions face serious difficulties with their pupils’ conduct. This essay will suggest that poor parenting is the root cause of this phenomenon and submit that a public awareness campaign is the most viable solution, followed by a reasoned conclusion.
The principal cause of poor discipline in schools is poor discipline at home. Many mothers and fathers either do not have the time or skills to teach their youngsters the value of manners and respecting authority. This results in many young people not listening to their teachers, being rude and actively rebelling against rules and regulations. For example, a recent study by Cambridge University found that 1 in 3 teenagers would refuse to comply with a rule if they didn’t agree with it, compared to just 1 in 8 in a similar study in 1990.
The most practical solution to this problem is a government-sponsored awareness campaign. An effective advertising campaign could warn of the dangers of misbehaviour and, hopefully, raise awareness amongst the public. For example, the United Kingdom recently lobbied their citizens to teach their children about the importance of respecting teachers, which resulted in a dramatic improvement.
In summary, widespread negative behaviour in the classroom has been caused by caregivers not instilling the values of deference and civility in their offspring; however, this can be tackled through a public education programme that promotes these values. It is also recommended that people should attend parenting classes before their child starts kindergarten.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly identifiable. The use of cohesive devices is mostly accurate.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to show more sophisticated relationships between ideas.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. There is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language, and the use of paraphrase is effective. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are few grammatical errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses all parts of the task. The writer presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you consistently use formal language throughout the essay. There are a few instances where a more formal tone could be used.
- Try to vary your language more to show a wider range of vocabulary.