In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think it is happening? How to solve the issue?
In the last few decades, world is facing many kind of natural disasters that are global warming or disappearing animals and plants. I think several factors are available.
On the one hand, there are several factors why animals and plants declining. Firstly, one factor of them might be that global warming. Because of warming, more and more forests are in fire that require at least 2 or 3 hours to stop, some of them continues few days to be stopped that destroys a lot of forest zones including plants and animals. Secondly, poachers are another portion of this cause. Since, they kill every animal that they want which means animals that are in danger to be disappeared.
On the other hand, there are a lot of ways to safe wild nature. I think government of some responsible countries concentrate on this issue that people are portion of the problems. However, responsible people should pass strictly laws to protect wild nature to avoid this situation and to save animals and plants. For example, in Uzbekistan a law has been passed with name of “qizil kitob” to be safe animals which means it is banned to hunt animals. Somebody who hunt animal is punished with 100$. I think it is not much more strictly to be safe animals. Instead of this, hunters must be punished with prison sentence. It is more soundable. In addition, governments need to give up anything that causes global warming like manufacturing factories – harm to air quality. These types of factories are not only harm for wild nature, but also they are dangerous for people’s life.
In conclusion, despite disappearing animals and plants because of global warming and poachers, protecting wild nature would cause to decrease number of such accidents.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the importance of protecting wildlife.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary related to the environment and wildlife, with terms like “global warming,” “poachers,” and “wild nature” used appropriately. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument and make the writing more engaging.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which helps to maintain the reader’s interest. However, there are some grammatical errors that can cause confusion, such as issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Proofreading the essay to correct these errors is recommended. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures, such as relative clauses, could help to make the writing more engaging and sophisticated.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the decline of animals and plants in many countries and suggesting ways to address the issue. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this decline, such as global warming and poaching, and proposes practical solutions, such as stricter laws and regulations. However, the argument could be further developed to provide more detailed and specific examples to support the points made. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reinforcing the importance of protecting wildlife.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your arguments and provide specific examples to support your points.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to make your essay more persuasive.