in many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and families. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Given the increased costs of living and employment competition, it comes as no surprise that many people in numerous countries are forced to live away from their families and friends in an attempt to work. While there are some potential drawbacks of this trend, its benefits are more significant.
Relocating for better job opportunities can present certain difficulties, one of which is emotional challenges. Moving elsewhere with the hope of finding work means one might struggle adapting to the new environment, a phenomenon called culture shock. During such a period, being far from their families and friends can create feelings of isolation due to lack of emotional support, making life hard for the individuals concerned. Furthermore, when this period of disconnection is prolonged, this can affect relationships, whether with friends or families, negatively. Over time, as time passes, there can be changes in people’s behavior, meaning their characteristics might not fit with others’ due to communication gap, potentially leading to misunderstandings and therefore weakened bonds.
These downsides notwithstanding, moving to larger cities or foreign countries comes with significant upsides. Career advancement is cited the most among the reasons for this decision. People make this decision primarily for better job opportunities waiting for them ahead. Not only can they gain experience for their chosen field, but also earn more in most of the cases. Take my home country, Uzbekistan as an example. In my country, many people residing in regions immigrate to the capital city, Tashkent where they can find high-paying jobs easier. Higher earnings, in turn, allow them to afford the lifestyle of their choice- better education and healthcare to name but a few. In addition, living in a new place exposes individuals to new cultures and gives independence. This is beneficial for personal growth, as they have the chance to gain insights into cultures, broadening their horizon, and learn to overcome setbacks individually, turning them into well-rounded individuals.
In conclusion, living away from families and friends is largely advantageous. This is obvious when advantages, such as better employment prospects and self-growth, are brought into comparison with potential disadvantages like homesickness and erosion of relationships.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be stronger.
Suggestions
- Try to make your conclusion more impactful. You could summarize your main points and clearly state your opinion on the balance between the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.