In many countries, too much money is spent by governments and individuals for national days such as New Year and religious festivals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Government and number of people spending big amount of for celebrations like new year or for some religious festivals. I completely agree with this point of view, I believe people should spent money on these kinds of festivals as it gives rise for enjoyment.
Nowadays number of people and principals tend to spent a lot of money on festivals. Since there are some bigger problems that needs to be solved with these investments. Instead of purchasing decorations for streets government should invest money to prevent homelessness. For instance, principals should provide number of poor people with shelters or with jobs. As a result, there will be less homeless people and more people will be part of economy as they will be working. Furthermore, number of adults are taking these holidays too seriously and spending huge amount of money decorations gifts. At the end, it will be ordinary holiday as it was. Hence, if they invest this money education of the children and leads to development in society.
However, I believe both national and religious festivals will give people chance to unwind. Spending money on these festivals will be investment for our joy. As near holidays become close it will bring kind of positive vibe. For instance, in Christmas cities and houses will be decorated giving feeling of fulfilment. It is become tradition for us to decorate our homes no matter how much money spent on that it will be never regretted if it brings happiness. The same is true if look at religious festivals such as Ramadan in Muslim world. Personal example would be the fact that every year it makes relatives to gather and spent time together. Which will give unforgettable memories and recharges peoples batteries. As I said no amount of money plays a role in this kind of festivals.
In conclusion, while money plays vital role in most fields of life, but celebrations and religious holidays that brings fun and enjoyments will always stays priceless as memories will last forever.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a standard structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance on the issue.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance on the issue.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors that can be distracting. These include errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, and the body paragraphs each focus on a single main idea. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.