In today’s interconnected world, the influence of famous people, often regarded as “role models,” on younger generations has grown significantly. While this phenomenon might offer certain benefits, I believe it is likely to result in negative consequences.
On the one hand, having famous people as role models impact on younger minds can be beneficial in many ways. One major benefit of role models is that they can motivate young people to set high goals and work diligently to achieve them. This is because, unlike ordinary people, with dedication, perseverance, and resilience, many famous people have achieved success despite difficulties. Hence, recognising the importance of overcoming significant obstacles for growth as role models, younger generations can remain steadfast in pursuing their dreams instead of giving up those. Another key benefit of role models relates to their social responsibility to advocate for positive changes. This can raise awareness about important issues among young people.
Despite this, I tend to view this development negatively. The main worry is that not all famous individuals exhibit positive behaviour. They are instances of unethical actions, substance abuse, and irresponsible conduct that can set a precedent for young people. When impressionable minds idolise such individuals, they may normalise behaviours that have negative consequences. A further problem with having role models relates to unrealistic standards and expectations. By the lifestyle of famous people often projecting an idealised image of success, younger audiences may feel pressured to mimic these lifestyles. This can lead to unrealistic expectations and dissatisfaction.
In conclusion, by having role models, young people are provided an inspiring blueprint and encouraged to engage in causes that benefit society. Yet I believe it is change for the worse, as it often leads to struggle with low self-esteem and a sense of inadequacy.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly identifiable. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your argument.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A variety of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions are used effectively. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be improved.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging and the conclusion could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to more effectively introduce the topic and grab the reader’s attention.
- Consider providing a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes the key points of your argument.