In numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures, in everyday conversation. What are the reasons behind this phenomenon? Is it advantageous or detrimental.
In our modern world, in numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss earnings or expenditures in everyday conversation. I personally believe this trend is advantageous.
On the one hand, some people want to have a conversation about their financial matters and own expenditures. I trust that the trend is advantageous for financial problems and money shortage. Moreover, you can fix your own financial problems if you take advice from conversation because this trend can help to improve your work experience and work skills. In addition, if individuals always discuss financial matters such as their earning or expenditures in everyday conversation because you may take new information and details from their work. So that’s why your salary may be increasing and your money shortage and expenditures may be dropped. If they use these informations from their work.
However, there are several detrimentals from this trend because this trend may lead to depression, quandary, and other mental problems. In addition, you may be ill from depression and you must be curing at the treatment center because these issues lead to heart disease and diabetes mellitus from this trend. In fact, scientists always accent not worried from financial problems and expenditures. So that’s why you always discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures in everyday conversation. If I give some advice from this trend, you must discuss your own financial matters and earnings.
In conclusion, I personally believe this trend is absolutely useful for increasing their own salaries and fixing their own financial problems or expenditures.
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the development of ideas within paragraphs and the linking of these ideas across the essay is somewhat unclear. The use of cohesive devices is also limited, affecting the overall coherence.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support this idea.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choices. The use of synonyms could be improved to avoid repetition.
The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures and contains several grammatical errors. Punctuation and sentence formation could be improved for better clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the topic by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the trend of discussing financial matters in everyday conversations. However, the ideas are not fully developed, and the argument could be more balanced. The essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made.
Suggestions
- Try to present a more balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the trend in equal measure.
- Provide specific examples to support your points.