In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?
In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. Moreover, many athletes are starting to use doping to improve their skills and performance.
On the one hand, there are several negative effects of doping for athletes. For example, athletes are banned from football or other sports. Athlete’s physical activity is becoming worse off than other athletes. In addition, athletes may pay a huge fine from football federation. This situation leads to several negative effects from athletes. If athletes are consuming excessive drugs, athletes may lead to psychological issues like depression and negative impacts. Moreover, athletes are banned from sports for 5 or 7 years, and their physical activity and mental health are worse off than other athletes.
On the other hand, the reason for this many poor countries is that they don’t help athletes and football federation. So that’s why athletes must be consuming doping to improve their opportunities and skills. For example, India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, and other countries. These countries can not help their own athletes and sports. They are only income for business and agriculture. So that’s why athletes must be consuming doping. This drug is absolutely dangerous for their health, lifestyle, and money shortage and other main problems. For example, famous football player Poul Pogba banned from football from doping. I think he wants to improve his own life and own countries from poverty.
In conclusion, if football federation uses qualified doctors and modern technologies from identifying doping before the match, and many countries can help athletes, they may be stopping consuming doping.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs on the effects of doping, and a conclusion. However, there are issues with cohesion and coherence. The use of linking words and cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, leading to a disjointed reading experience. Additionally, the transition between discussing the negative effects of doping and the reasons for its use in some countries is abrupt and confusing.
Suggestions
- Try to use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use more complex language. However, there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, particularly in the discussion of the reasons for doping and the example of the football player, Paul Pogba.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that hinder clarity. Issues include incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement errors, and misuse of articles. Proofreading is essential to correct these errors. Additionally, the essay sometimes uses awkward phrasing that could be simplified for better clarity and impact.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the negative effects of doping on athletes and suggesting ways to combat the issue. However, the discussion is somewhat superficial, and the essay lacks depth in its exploration of the topic. The use of specific examples to support points is limited, and the essay could benefit from a more detailed analysis of the reasons for doping and the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your arguments more fully and support them with specific examples.
- Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well-developed.