In some countries, it is illegal to reject old employees just because of their age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In some parts of the world, there is a low to protect older employees to be fired due to their age. While this offers several benefits for both employees and employers, I personally believe that it can put the productivity of some industries at risk, while challenging the job market with increased number of younger workers, making this trend more negative.
On the one hand, imposing a strict regulation about keeping older workers regardless of their old age may have a number of promising benefits. First of all, aged workers who can manage to keep their work have a chance to earn more money for their retirement, ensuring their economic stability when they are unemployed. Even as long as they have their job, they can meet their needs without being reliant on somebody. As for employers, such older workers may help as a complementary trainer who has deep knowledge as well as broad worldview to teach new staff members how to deal with likely problems at work.
On the other hand, this situation has explicit and undeniable negative consequences that cause damage for some businesses. As some industries or even small companies rely on labour where the physical fitness level plays a crucial role, aged workers may mean decreased productivity. The car industry which provides more than 400 million of people with a decent job would be the best example as labour is mostly required in the main stages of car production. In that case, old workers cannot do these tasks as much as one young, strong employee does. In addition, job market which is full of young and intelligent workers might struggle to ensure vacancies. As long as aged ones stay in their position, there will be no need to hire a new worker, while every year thousands of students graduate from university and try to guarantee a well-paid job. So, the more older workers retire, the more job opportunities would be available for younger ones.
In conclusion, despite financial and educational benefits, setting a strict regulation to force employers to keep their older employees may have possible side-effects on both productivity of some businesses, and increased number of young workers in job market.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Use more linking words to connect ideas.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “economic stability,” “complementary trainer,” and “decreased productivity.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more precise and varied vocabulary could help to strengthen the argument and make the writing more engaging.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors that need to be addressed, such as issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could help to strengthen the argument and make the writing more engaging.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of a policy that protects older workers from being fired due to their age. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant arguments and examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments and by offering a more detailed analysis of the potential implications of the policy.