In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

There is a differing view that some think children should start attending schools at earlier age while others claim that they can go after turning to seven or eight years of age. I advocate for sending children to schools at the later age because it is socially and educationally beneficial.
One of the main benefits of starting school at later age for children is that they can gain better social insights. This is because children are often able to make friends, engage with the peers and form relations with others after being seven years old or older. If attended earlier, young children are likely to suffer from social isolation and feel neglected as they hardly mingle with others, thereby breaking their confidence and sociability in a community. Take Japanese parents as an example, who prefer to enroll their children to school classes only after eight years of age, ensuring that the young teenagers are ready to public life. This case clearly illustrates why there are more benefits related to social growth of children in starting school later on.
Another crucial advantage children gain is educational, through which they can be taught more effectively. At earlier ages, children are mostly directed to kindergartens where they learn basic knowledge and skills, such as numeracy and daily manners, which lays the foundation for next level of education. Without realizing fundamental rules and manners, sending children to schools immediately can be ineffective and have chain of reaction on further education. In most countries, kids are first taught at kindergartens and once gained some insights and awareness about life, then they are welcomed to primary education at school. Therefore, children’s starting school after they are seven or eight years old can be the right path towards more meaningful and mindful education.
In conclusion, while some opine that children should start school as early as possible, I strongly believe that attending school after turning the right age, which is seven or eight years of age, can bear both social and educational fruits.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the writer’s position, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures with a good level of accuracy. However, there are a few minor errors that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and complex sentence structures could enhance the overall quality of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both viewpoints and providing a clear personal opinion. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and the essay is structured in a logical manner. However, the use of more specific examples could enhance the overall quality of the essay.