In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
The bar chart compares the results of a survey about coffee and tea, which are purchasing and drinking habits of people in five Australian cities.
Overall, while the proportion rates of buying fresh coffee were higher in Brisbane, Sydney, Hobart, and especially Melbourne, the figures for buying instant coffee exhibited higher rates in Adelaide. Moreover, the percentages of inhabitants who went to a cafe for coffee or tea were the lowest.
Focusing on the bigger rates first, little over three-fifths of buying fresh coffee in the last four weeks was higher than other categories, with small disparity in proportions between buying instant coffee and going to a cafe for coffee or tea in the last four weeks, at around 63%, 47% and 43% respectively.
The essay lacks cohesion and coherence as it does not address the given task. It describes a bar chart rather than discussing the importance of home ownership.
Suggestions
- Focus on the essay prompt.
- Ensure logical flow and connection between ideas.
- Use linking words to enhance coherence.
The vocabulary is limited and not appropriate for the task.
The grammatical range is adequate but not entirely suitable for the task.
The task is not achieved as the essay does not address the given topic.
Suggestions
- Focus on the importance of home ownership.
- Discuss reasons and implications of owning a home.
- Ensure relevance to the essay prompt.