In some countries students live at home with their family while they study at university whereas in other countries students attend university in another city?
While leaving family for academic purposes has drawbacks namely not having psychological support and financial support.I believe advantages such as becoming independent and experienced are more significant.
One of the significant disadvantages is lack of support as students do not live with family. They feel lonely because nobody is caring about them.Another drawbacks is not having financial support from family.It may be overwhelming for students to earn money while studying at university. It leads to bad consequences as they can get bored and lose motivation to study.
However,on the other hand there are benefits namely becoming independent.If they have troubles by studying far from home that they face first time and then they learn how to solve problems.This helps students to think clearly before making decisions or doing actions and it encourages to be responsible. Furthermore ,by studying abroad or far from family,students by handling with a lot difficulties that make them experienced learn a lot of life skills.It improves the quality of life style and career.
To conclude. There are disadvantages, such as lack of support and lack of financial support. In my opinion benefits as becoming independent and experienced are more important.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument and make the essay more engaging.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some sentences that could be revised for clarity. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall quality of the writing. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could help to strengthen the argument and make the essay more engaging.
The essay addresses the task effectively and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of students living away from their families for academic purposes. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the topic. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well supported with specific examples.