In some countries, the number of children aged 15 and younger are increasing dramatically. What are the current and future effects of an ever-increasing population?

In recent years, with the population of young generation, particularly in the age of 15 or younger, some countries gain profit and being more popular than the past. However, some can lead to negative impacts for their countries with their unexpected behaviors, and this both situation can lead to the next generation in the future.
Nowadays, in particular countries, the future of children aged 15 and younger are more than expected. However, with them, government may gain funds and be popular among other developed countries. In such ages, from 10 to 15, children be active and try to make proud by their parents and their own countries because it helps to make a sense of happiness in their heart. They have many abilities; for example, some are good at sports and others may be stronger mentally rather than physically. With their mind, they can help develop IT branches in their countries and create some useful apps for people. Moreover, with the advancement of technology, youths are able to be popular on social media; such as on Instagram, Facebook, etc. Being active there, they can describe their countries and encourage viewers to visit their hometown. With this process, children might lead to develop tourism in their countries. However, as we know, among all generations have some people who cannot do like this action, so that government also pay attention for them, as they have strong cognitive skills or undeveloped abilities to show. If the government and their parents try to find their skills and help them, it can lead to positive impact to the next generation.
On the other hand, young generation is interested in everything in the world, especially for developing their habits, which can help to be popular dramatically, whether it is useful or not. In some countries, the number of criminals, alcohol addictions are increasing significantly. Looking at the statistics, the number of people, particularly who 14 or 15 years old, are in high level rather than old generation. As we know, children like to imitate their peers or older generation, so that they can pose to next generation with their behavior and it can lead not only to reduce the status of countries, but also decrease the number of tourists in the country. Thus, the main such factors and statuses are related to the process of young generation.
In conclusion, although children have negative impacts for society, many of them are intelligent than older. With showing them support, government can reduce the number of trouble-maker children from the country. Paying attention to young generation, countries can make gain and develop their weaknesses.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of linking words. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in its overall coherence. However, the use of linking words and cohesive devices could be improved to better guide the reader through your arguments. Additionally, the transition between the positive and negative effects could be made smoother to enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.

Suggestions

Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that the use of linking words is consistent and appropriate.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “population,” “government,” “tourism,” and “cognitive skills.” To further improve, consider the precision of your word choice to avoid ambiguity or misinterpretation. Additionally, the use of more varied and sophisticated language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is a good range of structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that hinder overall clarity. The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect the clarity and readability of the essay. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, such as subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, will improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, varying your sentence structures could help to maintain the reader’s interest.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. You have addressed the task by discussing both the positive and negative effects of the increasing population of children aged 15 or younger in some countries. However, the essay could benefit from a more focused thesis statement that clearly outlines the main points to be discussed. Additionally, the arguments could be more fully developed with additional supporting details and examples.