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In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them school. Do the advantage of home education outweigh the disadvantage?

Parents in some countries who are choosing to educate their children at home is increasing rather than sending them school.
One advantage of educating at home, is the best way to be more concentrate. Plus, children will be under parental supervision. Being concentrate is help children to understand lessons deeper and provide them peaceful environment. And they can ask any questions without hesitation whenever they want and they can be able to express an idea. Additionally, they will be under parental control. This is useful for their health and safety. Parents will be care of their children and give them attention as they want.
However, the disadvantage of teaching at home is might be more boring. One of the major drawbacks is the disinterest fir certain subjects, because of the friendless. If the children had no skill of communication with others, then it becomes difficult for him/her to speak openly and easily with unfamiliar people around him/her. Moreover, education of parents may be poorly rather than teachers. And they can not able to give them good information about the subject. Conversely, teachers have accurate and complete information. They also know how to deliver it to children in an engaging way.
In conclusion, teaching children at home may be more convenient and safe for parents. However, the downsides are much more significant, including poorly education and less communication.

6.0

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
  • Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of home education. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions
  • Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
  • Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.