In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them school. Do the advantage of home education outweigh the disadvantage?
Nowadays , in many countries number of parents prefer to study their own children at home instead of sending them school. In my opinion. I completely disagree with this statement and this essay will provide evidence that supports my viewpoint.
On the one hand, studying at home can offer several obvious and one of them is avoiding school pressure . This is because some students do not have the ability to keep up with lessons or their classmates in school they are declined to feel overwhelmed and receive low scores . Another advantage of educating at home is that saves a lot of money and time for both parents and children. Some students are geographically restricted, so learning through online courses can save time for moving to distant schools and give them a chance to access a good education, which might be cheaper than in studying in schools .
On the other hand , allowing students to go to school offers several benefits and one of them is fostering social skills for children . Undertaking extracurricular activities organized by schools not only offers opportunities for children to make new friends and enhance communication skills but also helps them to learn valuable insights about social interaction. Moreover, educating at home can save time for parents . When their children study at home , they can focus on earning money or implementing personal activities to enhance their physical health and take care of their families.
In conclusion, I strongly believe educating at schools can offer significant benefits such as saving time and developing social skills.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the overall stance on the issue.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and word endings that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of home education. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support its points.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.