In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them school. Do the advantage of home education outweigh the disadvantage?
In some countries some parents prefer not to sent their children to school negative aspects of teaching children at home for example separated from the children but positive aspects of teaching children at home for example the abundance of new information and the case of acquiring knowledge
One disadvantage of sperated from the children. There are many problems stay at home for example shy rough and crack free children in children’s home they become shy when their parents teach them because children grow single because children do not join peers and reasons why a child become rough for example increased pressure and demands and impact of the family environment because excessive demands placed on the children by parents or teacher while teaching at home can cause the children to become stress.
However, the advantage of wealth of new information and case of acquiring more knowledge because some parents rich and they hire a teacher their children and the children are given individual lesson by the a children and learn knowledge and new things result children will be smart and talented when kids get older they do not go a teacher or clubs because the parents spent to much money and more time hire teacher and children will be happy, satisfied and healthy.
In conclusion, while homeschooling offers personalized learning and the chance to acquire extensive knowledge, it can also lead to social isolation and increased stress for children.
The essay is somewhat organized, but the flow of ideas is not very clear. The introduction and conclusion are weak, and the body paragraphs are somewhat disjointed. Transitions between ideas are not very smooth, and the essay lacks a clear structure.
Suggestions
- Use clear topic sentences to introduce each paragraph.
- Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and is well-developed.
- Use transitional phrases to connect ideas and ensure a smooth flow of information.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and there are some inaccuracies in word choice. Some words are repeated multiple times. Spelling and punctuation are often faulty, which further affects the readability of the essay.
The essay uses a limited range of grammatical structures and there are some errors in sentence construction. Some sentences are too long and confusing. Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly affect the readability of the essay.
The essay addresses the topic, but the argument is not fully developed. The essay does not provide enough detail or examples to support its points. The conclusion is somewhat abrupt and does not fully summarize the main points discussed.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea.