In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them school. Do the advantage of home education outweigh the disadvantage?
In soma countries,parents teach their children at home.It has advantages and disadvantages.
One advantage of home education is child should be under parental control,because if the child is under parental control,will be safe and very few children are bullied at school and it is very bad. Another one advantage of home education is lesson schedules are free.Namely, children study the subject they like.Mainly, corpulsory subject are teach at school and children have to learn subject they do not want.
However there are also some disadvantage of home education.For example,if children are study at school,they can communicate with people around them and have many friends.If children are study at home,they cannot think freely.And another disadvantage of home education is time spent by parents .Namely if parents educate their children at home,they only care about their children and if they work,they do not have to go to work. And another disadvantage is the absence of school supplies. If they do not,you can not practise chemistry and other subjects.
I think school education is better than home education.Because it is more favourable every way and I also study at school.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your points and provide clear explanations and examples.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but these do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.