In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them school. Do the advantage of home education outweigh the disadvantage?
These days, in some counteries many parents prefer to study their children at home under their control instead of sending them school. I reckon that, there are tons of disadvantage from advantage.
On the one hand, tons of disease among the population. Especially among the young people are incredibly spreading. For this reason, spread is that children go to school every day play and study together. In addition to this, parents avoid to spend time sending their children to school. The health of their child is important for parents. That is why they agree on this decision. If they start studying at home, they are always under the control of their parents.
On the other hand, pupils always study with themselves teacher, very good for pupil’s study. For example, they study together with their friends, which causes the student’s knowledge to increase. Additional, parents would have enough patience to stimulate their children to the preference for some useful subjects which particularly fit their careers in the future.
In conclusion, student’s studies at school one good in all respects. Both for learning and for perfect understanding of lessons. I completely agree that the benefits of study at school outweight the drawbacks.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a basic structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to clearly state your position in the conclusion and summarize the key points.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can affect the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay attempts to use a range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. These errors can sometimes affect the clarity and readability of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of home education for children. However, the argument is not fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support its points. The conclusion could also be more comprehensive in summarizing the key points and clearly restating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well supported by the rest of the essay.