In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?
In some countries, some parents prefer not to send their children to school. There are negative aspects of teaching children at home, for example, being separated from other children. However, there are also positive aspects of teaching children at home, such as the abundance of new information and the ease of acquiring knowledge.
One disadvantage of being separated from other children is that there are many problems associated with staying at home. For example, children may become shy, rough, or lack social skills. When children stay at home, they can become shy because they do not interact with peers. Additionally, children may grow up alone and miss the opportunity to develop social relationships.
Another reason why a child may become rough is the increased pressure and demands placed on them by their parents or teachers while being taught at home. Excessive demands can cause children to become stressed due to the impact of the family environment.
However, there are advantages to homeschooling. For example, children can benefit from a wealth of new information and the ease of acquiring more knowledge. Some parents, who are wealthy, hire private teachers for their children. These children receive individual lessons, allowing them to learn more and gain new knowledge.
As a result, children who are homeschooled in this way often become smart and talented. When they grow older, they may not need to rely on teachers or clubs because their parents have spent a lot of time and money on hiring tutors. These children often feel happy, satisfied, and healthy.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be more clearly expressed.
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.