In some countries today, many people decide to have their first child when they are older. What are the reasons? Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, more and more people are in favor of delaying parenting in many countries. There are some concerning debates behind this trend. While there are several potential advantages , I believe they are overshadowed by the disadvantages that this tendency puts on individuals in terms of health and family relationship.
To begin with, there is one major reason that explains why people are delaying the time of having kids to later stages in life. In the past, as people lacked general access to educational opportunities, developing careers before family was not a widely adopted option. As a result, marrying earlier and embarking on parenthood in the early twenties were universally followed. In contrast, as educational opportunities have been improving drastically, allowing people to acquire enough knowledge to pursue careers, which leaves the reproductive timelines to be determined more independently. Another motivation behind this decision is the desire for personal growth and self-fulfilment. In modern life, many individuals prefer to invest more time and effort on themselves, bringing them to new adventures, trying out novel experiences and exploring different worlds before starting their own family.
From my perspective, deciding to build up a family depends on our personal expectations as well as our current situation. Although, when it comes to career prospects and personal satisfactions, there are several upsides of this phenomenon, I believe that the downsides might be more significant. Firstly, parental procrastination is likely to put babies and their mothers’ health at risk. It is scientifically proven that women giving birth after the age of 30 are prone to miscarriage due to the increase of chromosomal abnormalities with women’ age. Moreover, their babies may not have more problems related to health problems such as down syndrome than babies of younger women. On top of that, delaying parenting creates a gap between parents and children
On top of that, delaying parenting creates a gap between parents and children. It goes without saying that today’s world has always been changing constantly, ranging from social norms to the operation of our current civilization. Also, teenagers’ experiences are not the same as their parents’, making numerous differences between past and present, present and future, the young and the old. Therefore, families whose parents and children are at the same pace, are able to find mutual understanding. However, older parents tend to hold traditional views, which discourages parents to sympathise with common pressure among adolescents such as individualism. Consequently, the disparity in age results in challenges of finding mutual understanding in a family, leading to a generation gap preventing families from creating a close-knight family and gathering members altogether.
In conclusion, postponing parenting can be attributed to the positive change of society and individual preference regarding a rewarding life experience. Despite having certain benefits, it fails to surpass its negative effect on overall health and family connection as I mentioned above.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are all clearly structured. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each discuss a different aspect of the issue, and a conclusion that summarizes your views. You use a variety of cohesive devices effectively (e.g., “To begin with,” “Moreover,” “In conclusion”), which helps to guide the reader through your essay. However, the transition between the discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of delaying parenthood could be smoother. Consider using more explicit linking phrases to signal the shift in focus to the potential negative effects of this trend.

Suggestions

Try to ensure that your ideas flow more smoothly from one to the next

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and idiomatic language. You demonstrate a good command of academic vocabulary, with terms such as “reproductive timelines,” “parental procrastination,” and “generational gap” used appropriately. Your use of language is clear and effective, with no significant issues. However, be cautious with the term “parental procrastination,” as it may not accurately convey the concept you are discussing. Consider using a term like “delayed parenthood” instead.

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and is mostly accurate. The essay demonstrates a good command of complex grammatical structures, with a variety of sentence types used effectively. Your grammar and punctuation are generally accurate, with no significant errors. However, there are a few minor issues that could be addressed. For example, in the sentence “while there are several potential advantages , I believe they are overshadowed by the disadvantages that this tendency puts on individuals in terms of health and family relationship,” the phrase “in terms of health and family relationship” should be singular (“in terms of health and family relationships”).

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the trend of delayed parenthood and the potential advantages and disadvantages of this practice. You present a clear thesis in the introduction and discuss both the positive and negative aspects in a balanced way. Your conclusion effectively summarizes your views on the topic. However, the discussion could be more fully developed with additional specific examples or evidence to support your points.