In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city.
In some countries, many students prefer to study in university by staying in their homeland with their family, while In other countries, students believe that it is better to attend university in another city. I think study abroad can outweigh the disadvantages of attending university in homeland because of self-improvement and life experiences.
On the one hand, many parents don’t want their children to study in another country in order to ensure their security. Because many youngsters who go abroad to study for the first time, usually face some challenges such as culture shock and financial problems. As a result, they can committee crime in order to outcome challenges especially when they face financial problems. For example, many students who wen to America to study, were shut up because they stole money from houses due to their less money supply. Hence, many young people don’t want to study abroad and studying in university by living with family can provide safety.
On the other hand, many students consider that attending abroad is good way to self-improvement. Because when they face some challenges, they will learn something new and get life experiences. For instance, many attenders foreign countries usually learn how to spend money and keep them and it can be helpful when they have issues which are related to money like tuition fee. Because they will not have their family members who provide finance when they face such kind of problems. This can encourage students to solve their problems by themselves without any help. It might help to be independent. Therefore, study abroad plays vital role in students’ self-improvement and their confidence about themselves.
In conclusion, although there are negative sides of living in another city without family, it can be useful for students’ self-development like they learn how to solve problem and like without any help.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall quality of the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied punctuation could help to improve the readability of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. The writer presents a clear stance that the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks, and provides reasons and examples to support this position. However, the argument could be further developed with more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the implications of studying abroad on personal and professional growth.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Develop your ideas more fully to provide a deeper analysis of the topic.