In some countries worldwide, men and women have children at a later age than in the past. What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?
In today’s world both men and women choose to having children at a later age compared to the past in many countries. Their education and financial stability can be the reason for this.
One of the highly controversial issues today is having a baby when individuals grow older due to education and career. A number of people invest more time on studying and building their professional lives before having a family. Thus is because if people be knowledgeable and experienced, they will be ready to raising child. Financial stability is another factor, as raising children can be expensive and couples often want to secure their future first. Since it is parenthood priorities until children be adult.
In addition, changing social norms play a role. Today, marriage and parenthood are seen as personal choices rather than expectations, giving people more freedom to decide when they are ready.
Delaying parenthood has both positive and negative impact on society. On the positive side, older parents are usually more experienced and financially prepared, which can be beneficial for children. However, this trend leads to decreasing birth rates, which causes aging populations in many countries. An aging population can create challenges, such as fewer workers and increased pressure on healthcare.
To conclude, having children at a later age is influenced by education, career and societal changes. While it brings benefits like financial stability and better parenting, it also creates challenges for family and society.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the connection between some ideas and paragraphs could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are clear, but the body paragraphs could be more tightly linked. Using more varied and precise linking words could help improve the overall cohesion of the essay. Additionally, repeating key ideas in the body paragraphs and conclusion would help reinforce the central arguments.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph is well-connected to the previous and next one.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a varied vocabulary, but there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “Thus is because if people be knowledgeable and experienced, they will be ready to raising child” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity. Using more precise and appropriate vocabulary could help improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, paying attention to collocations and idiomatic language could help improve the overall fluency and naturalness of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are a few instances of incorrect or awkward grammar. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that could be addressed for clarity. For example, “Their education and financial stability can be the reason for this” should be “Their education and financial stability can be the reasons for this”. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including subject-verb agreement and preposition use, could help improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the trend of delayed parenthood and its effects on society and family life. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this trend, such as education and financial stability, and discusses both the positive and negative impacts on society and family life. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and provide sufficient support for your points.
- Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.