In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and can benefit from more safety, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?
Nowadays many youth across the globe seem to be in a more secure position financially, have a better quality of health, and feel more secure than previous generations. Despite all these advantages within their reach, today’s youth are reporting a lower level of happiness. This is linked to the overwhelming pressure to conform to imagined social standards and the definition of success, exacerbated by the influence of social media. In this essay, I will examine the most serious of these concerns and present some suggestions.
The influence of social media is one of the strongest factors, that lead to the lower level of happiness amongst young population. Instagram and TikTok serve as a free platform of influencer fantasies, demonstrating their renowned achievements and covering up struggles and failures. Because of this, the young population develop unrealistic expectations of what their reality should look like. They find themselves under peer pressure to meet the standards of success that are often showed on social media, which leads to a consistent level of stress, anxiety and dissatisfaction.
To address this issue, education system with parents together can enhance self-acceptance and critical thinking, along-with mental health campaigns so that younger people can prioritize well-being over expectations of other people.
In conclusion, the low happiness rate among young population is mostly caused by social media influence and peer pressure to meet the unrealistic standards. It is important to promote media literacy, parental support, mental well-being, and a more lowered commitments that youth should pursue to success. Only then young people can enjoy the benefits of their improved life-style without constantly feeling the need to achieve more.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your ideas are fully developed and explained.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. The writer’s opinion is well-supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your writing more concrete and persuasive.