In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Traditional festivals and events have vanished or are in the process of vanishing in several part of the world. This essay will explore some of these problems and propose some solutions to tackle the issue.
Initially, it is important to consider some problems arising from this situation. First and foremost, people lose sense of connection to their cultural roots. To illustrate this, I would come up with the explanation that the younger generation become disconnected from their heritage, leading to a similar of cultures in favor of global trends. Even this is not an ending and can be further backed. Disappearance of festivals bring a negative impact on local economies, a good case in point for this is that festivals often attract tourists and boost local economies , when these events vanish, communities miss out on significant economic opportunities. This situation is unacceptable due to these negative potential effects.
Nevertheless,there are some effective steps to remedy the problems mentioned above. The most immediate measurement should be that through education, traditional festivals promote and preserve for young generation integrating into school curriculum to educate about their cultural significance. This is because this kind of attentions encourage student participation in festival-related activities, such as traditional dance, music,or crafts a personal connection to the culture. I am afraid the only solution is not enough to completely resolve the issue, so I would also suggest that modernizing festival celebrations for wider appeal using digital platform to promote festival through social media and live-streamed events which is accessible to a global audience. To back up the second remedy, I would take an illustration that Rio carnival is the biggest and famous celebration of carnival in the world. This festival can attract not only local residences but also the whole world. These two ways can complement each other and are able to address the problem effectively, especially if come together.
In conclusion, this situation in question is likely to result in some serious problems unless prevented by a set of effective counter measures which have been suggested in the essay.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures with a good level of accuracy. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for improved clarity and precision.

The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the essay could provide more specific examples to support the arguments. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the problems caused by the disappearance of traditional festivals and suggesting solutions to address the issue. The writer provides a clear explanation of the cultural, economic, and social impacts of the disappearance of traditional festivals and proposes practical solutions, such as integrating festival education into school curricula and using digital platforms to modernize festival celebrations. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples to support the arguments effectively.