In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

Donoxon
In recent years, more and more people in various societies are deciding to live alone. This shift is contributed by the factors like financial problems and changing social norms. Although it offers some advantages such as living independently and self controlled, it has some challenges like the risk of loneliness and health related problems that can be serious problem for them in the future.
One of the main reasons that leads to this shift is the financial independence. In the past times, every single children look for their parents for financial problems until they reach sixteen or seventeen. But now many people above sixteen have a job whether it is waiter or secretary for their own economy. Plus, changes in social norms let people to live alone and it is acceptable nowadays. These changes give people an opportunity to decide freely about their living arrangements, allowing them to focus on their careers and interests without any restrictions.
While living lonely offers several opportunities like increased economy and the ability to make choices freely, it has also some challenges. One of the main difficulties is the risk of loneliness that mostly occurs with people used to live with their families before. This risk might cause feelings like isolation and make humans more introverted. Living alone also may create a certain distance between humans and their acquaintances, involving difficulties to develop and maintain social connections that can cause some health related problems in the future.
In conclusion, the alteration of living alone is becoming common among people because of financial independence and changed social norms. Although it offers many advantages like independence and personal freedom, it has several challenges including feeling of isolation and well being that have to be thackled by people who choose independent living.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of complex structures, but there are some grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes. For example, “One of the main reasons that leads to this shift is the financial independence” should be “One of the main reasons that lead to this shift is financial independence.” Proofreading is recommended to catch and correct these errors, as they can impact the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the trend of living alone and the potential advantages and disadvantages of this lifestyle choice. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and providing a final thought on the topic.