In the future, people may have to live on other planets. Some think that is therefore important to spend money researching other planets such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A growing body of evidence suggests that in the future, humankind may have to live on other planets. That is why, some people believe that we should conduct more research and spend money on that with the aim of finding another inhabitable planet. The Earth is facing severe issues and may not be suitable for us to live on, but as a matter of fact we are the ones who contributed those issues. Space investigation has uncertain benefits and requires high costs, which could be allocated to pressing Earth-based issues such as poverty, healthcare and climate change.
Space exploration require significant financial investment. Funding research teams, developing spacecraft, testing new technologies and equipment are highly expensive. For instance, NASA’s rover mission to Mars cost approximately $3 billion. Whereas this money could instead address urgent problems on Earth, such as poverty, education, healthcare, and climate change.
While space exploration can make great discoveries, the outcomes are unpredictable. The benefits of missions to Mars, like finding sustainable habitat, resources that would support life are not guaranteed no matter how much money you spend on it. In fact, there is no practical evidence that humankind can live on other planets.
In conclusion, even though investigating space can have significant discoveries, it requires a lot of effort as well as money. Furthermore, even scientists are uncertain about the discoveries they are going to make. It is more important to address these money and effort on finding a solution to keep humankind on Earth.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your arguments are presented in a clear and logical order.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. For example, “The Earth is facing severe issues and may not be suitable for us to live on, but as a matter of fact we are the ones who contributed those issues” could be rephrased as “Earth is facing severe issues that may not be suitable for human habitation, a situation largely attributed to our own actions.” Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of grammatical structures, with few errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure that could be revised for clarity. For example, “Space exploration require significant financial investment” should be “Space exploration requires significant financial investment.” Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the need to prioritize funding for space exploration over addressing pressing Earth-based issues such as poverty, healthcare, and climate change. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by ensuring that the arguments are fully developed. For example, “Space exploration has uncertain benefits and requires high costs, which could be allocated to pressing Earth-based issues such as poverty, healthcare and climate change” could be revised to provide more specific examples of how these funds could be used to address Earth’s challenges.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your arguments more fully by providing more detailed explanations and examples.
- Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that all supporting points are clearly connected to this idea.