In the future, people may have to live on other planets. Some think that is therefore important to spend money researching other planets such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A growing body of evidence suggests that in the future humankind maybe leaving on other planets That is why,some people believe that we should do more researches and spand money on that with the aim of finding another earth 2.0. Earth is going through severe issues and may not be suitable for us to live in it, but in fact, we are the ones who created those issues. Every act of each of us costs another greenhouse gas in the atmosphere that leads to global warming. Throughout our existence, we have been doing nothing, but, harming our home. So why should we leave this planet and go to another one to destroy it too
Mars – is the planet that is probably most similiar to Earth. Scientists suggest that in case of dying of our planet, it is high likely that we will be living in there. So to be sure on that, they spend a great deal of money on researching Mars and desperately try to find something similiar to Earth. With the oxygen to breath, with the water to drink, with any fact of life. But what they are not considering is to find a solution for the problems that our planet has.
Earth – is actually perfect planet that we have ever known. Why? Because it is the only planet that sustains life of humankind and animals. Moreover, it has beautiful and unique nature.
Unfortunately, the existence of people had a severe damage on our planet. The consequences may lead to that even humans wouldn’t be able to live here. Some people, like Elon Mask strongly hope that Mars will be our second home. Maybe they think that the state of Earth is desperate and we have no control over the conditions that we have created. But actually, if we focus on solving these problems instead of finding another place to live in, maybe we would keep living in here. Sadly, some of us do not agree with their statement. Probably it is easier to find a new thing to use it up, than fixing the old one.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured in a way that somewhat guides the reader, but there are instances where the flow of ideas could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is present but somewhat repetitive and imprecise, affecting the overall coherence. Paragraphing could be improved to better separate and organize ideas.
Suggestions
- Try to use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay uses a range of vocabulary that is generally appropriate to the topic, but there are some instances of imprecise or incorrect word usage. The repetition of certain words and phrases could be reduced to demonstrate a wider lexical resource. There are some errors in word choice and collocation that should be addressed to improve clarity and precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are some errors in grammar and punctuation that can affect the overall clarity and accuracy. The essay also contains some spelling errors that should be addressed. Overall, the grammatical range is somewhat varied, but the accuracy needs to be improved.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the idea of researching other planets, particularly Mars, in the context of potential future human migration. The position is clear, and the essay presents arguments both for and against the research, which is good. However, the arguments could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The conclusion could also be strengthened by summarizing the main points and clearly restating the position.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your arguments more fully and support them with specific examples.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your position.